20 Tips for #DettyDecember
Its Decemberrrr!
That means wild nights out, day parties, bottomless brunches and a much anticipated hoeing thread in January.
It also means long queues, craaaazy traffic and inflated prices.
For most people, #DettyDecember lasts for only 2 weeks and it would be a shame to lose any time to unavoidable mishaps.
These are 20 tried and tested ways to make sure your December is as Detty as possible.
1. The first and most important rule of them all: NEVER go out with someone you don't trust. Do not go out with "town friends" only (town friends are people you don't know on a personal level, only in a social setting. Basically an acquaintance you hang with) . It's in your best interest to go out with at least one sensible friend who you know will have your back. You would think having just girls in your posse makes you safer, but there are some girls who set their female friends up to be taken advantage of by their male friends. I can not stress the importance of having at least one trustworthy friend with you if your intention is to drink when you go out. December is peak season for thieves etc as well, you could be set up by someone.
Also, you know that guy who's been making those awkward suggestive remarks? Even when he knows you're not interested? Don't go out drinking with him alone. Yes, free drinks and a designated driver are nice, but not at the cost of your safety. If you must go, LET HIM KNOW it's not a date and you'll be going as a group. If he declines, well that's his choice. Find someone else to take you.
2. Whatever you have to do, wherever you have to go, leave early! The traffic is crazy! Estimate an hour or two delay to wherever your destination is. Also, GPS/Google Maps works pretty decently in Accra. Uber drivers accept both cash and card payments but most Ghanaian drivers prefer cash(some will fully fight you).you can get a regular taxi (Identifiable by their orange/yellow colour blocks) even though they tend to overcharge when they realize you’re a foreigner.
3. Unless they specifically announce they’ll be selling some at the venue, buy all your event tickets early. Inflation rates for sold out events can be very wild. Daylight robbery.
4. Carpooling to town is a smart way to not spend a lot on transport. First of all the Uber surges in December are craaaazy and going everywhere together saves you a lot. If one person is driving, you can all contribute towards gas, it’s still massively cheaper than fueling all your individual cars.
If you’re going out at night, you can rent a car for the night, get an Uber together or contribute to the designated driver's petrol cost. Its cheaper for everyone. Being the designated driver wont be much fun, especially when everyone is tipsy and having fun, but you're in charge of making sure no one dies. You could take turns being the Designated Driver each night. Please don’t drive drunk at any point in time. Please.
5. Hello my diasporians. Most forex bureaus are closed by 5:00pm. That gives you at least 7 hours everyday to covert your foreign currencies to cedis. Make sure you change your money by then because
a. There have been multiple incidents of people using the “Oh I don’t have cedis line to get out of paying for their own things” so most people will not buy it, even if you’re being legit and you will be stranded, and
b. most of the vendors(restaurants, hotels, bars etc) that accept foreign currencies will give you a terrible rate far below the market value which you will have no choice but to pay.
For those who will be carting said diasporians around, make sure they change their money to cedis or you will pay every bill when you go out. Some will pay you back, some won’t.
6. Wherever you go, you should have enough money for at least 1 drink and your transport back home(If you don’t, you shouldn’t be out). Finding a ride to your destination is always easier than finding a ride back.
The transport bit is very necessary because your ride could either:
a. Be too drunk to drive(in which case you should put him/her in an Uber) or
b. Go off with someone (being drunk makes you horny, they've gone to get laid).
Even worse, you guys can get into a fight and now your ride home is gone. There's nothing worse than being drunk and stranded.
In the instance where you need to find a means of transportation for either you or your drunk friend, Ubers are always safer. Share the driver's details and the trip status with a third party.
7. If you will drink, EAT FIRST. Don't drink on an empty stomach, that's a disaster waiting to happen. Even if your plan is to get as drunk as possible, you need to eat first so you don't get sick the next morning. Don't eat too heavy though, or everything you drink will just leave you with an uneasy stomach. I would recommend going with types of meat or bread. Go the extra mile and put some food at a vantage point for when you get home too. Its important you put it somewhere you'll see it (ie your room) so when you come home drunk you don't forget to eat. It will reduce your hangover by half in the morning.
8. Pre-game! This is actually essential because it builds the vibe for the night. Its also cheaper than buying all your alcohol from the bar. Get together with a few friends and a bottle or 2 - black currant vodka and white wine are my favourite options. When you're pregaming, White > Red because red wine tends to make people a little slow, sleepy, and/or horny. Pregame time is 10:00pm -12.30am! If you're still there by 12.30, its no longer a "pre-game", thats either your first destination or you're most likely going to spend the whole night there.
You can have dinner first and stretch it into pre-gaming, before you head to your first stop.
9. Not really a tip, but more of a suggestion - A Long Island is a cheap foolproof way to get tipsy. It ties with Bloombar's Fast Track and Purple Pub's 5 Fingers. The maximum amount of any of these drinks anyone should be drinking is 3 for the entire night. If you're trying to get there fast, always go for the Long Island. You should be able to smile your way into a super strong one with extra shots(Girls only). Thank me later.
If you're feeling brave, do a couple of shots here and there over the course of the night.
I should add, mixing alcohol gets you drunk very fast, and it's also the fastest way to lose control of the night.
Thats how you end up puking on the bathroom floor with a severe hangover and patchy timeline. Once the effects of both drinks hit you, its a downward spiral - the night is home. Don't overdo it.
10. Appearance matters. If you're trying to get into certain places, wear heels. According to one very popular bouncer, girls are let in based on the business they can pull. Thats why its usually free or cheaper for girls; you are but a pawn in their marketing scheme. Well-dressed girls are more likely to get men to spend money to impress them, which is essentially what they want. So to get into certain places, you're going to have to dress up (I'm not telling you how it should be, I'm telling you how it is). Getting bounced when your friends have been let in sounds painful. You will either all have to leave because you couldn't get in (and you'll feel bad the whole night) or they'll leave you outside (even worse).
11. There are certain places you need to get to early. For example, in December, you may have to choose between 2 popular places because after a certain time, it’s overcrowded. Chances of you getting into both places are slim because even getting to the entrance where the bouncer who is your friend will let you in is going to be a struggle. You should know where you're spending the night by 8:00pm and it is in your best interest to get wherever that is by 10.00. Sounds ridiculous right? Kind of is, but it is what it is.
12. I know its a thing for some of you, but don't mix your alcohol with pills or coke. No one wants you to come and die on the floor of our favourite nightclub and have the place shut down for "investigations". Be considerate.
I hate that I even have to say this because that shouldn’t be the case but please watch your drinks baby girls. Don’t accept drinks from strangers that didn’t come directly from the bar/waiter. Not to make you paranoid but be careful even around your “friends”, especially when you’re in large groups. Don’t leave your drinks unattended. Have someone you trust watch your drink before you use the bathroom.
Also! If you’re a smoker, don’t smoke everything that’s handed to you, people lace their weed with things. The least you can do is buy your own(don’t ask me where, I’m not a fan)
13. For a full night out (10:00pm-5:00am) Heavy drinking time is 11pm to 3:30am. If you're trying to get home relatively sober, stop drinking at least an hour before you intend to leave. A lot of clubs have food, eat something. Eat slowly when you’re drunk or you will throw up.
You should be drinking water every hour. It wont make you any less drunk if you continue to drink or ruin your 'vibe', but it lessens the effects of the hangover you most likely will have. Drink at least half a bottle every hour. Also if you're trying to sober up, after your last drink, drink a bottle of water slowly. If you force yourself to drink it fast, you WILL throw up.
14. Everything is cheaper in a group. A bottle of whatever you want to drink is cheaper than a glass. A bottle of tequila is usually cheaper than 15 shots(for a large group). Food is cheaper in a group, get a platter.
15. #DettyDecember is the season for hookups but please stay safe. STDs exist. Children are expensive. All those are very preventable if you just put in a little effort to be careful. Please avoid having raw sex with people you just met, its so risky. No judgement, but a one night stand at a time like this where the entire city is overpopulated is incredibly risky. If you have first date plans with someone you’ve been talking to via social media for months, please meet in a public place. Let people know your whereabouts. If you leave the club to go with someone please LET SOMEONE KNOW. Honestly, just don’t take strangers home.
16. In a crowded place, its easy for there to be confusion. Pay your bill directly to the person who served you, or if you have to pay to someone else, take note of their faces/names. Personally I take videos/pictures if I can(of the money changing hands, not their faces. Breach of privacy) Just like how some people take advantage of the situation to dine-and-dash(run away without paying), some places use this season to collect double payments. Also if you dine and dash, I hope you’re caught.
17. Like I said, its peak season for thieves and scammers. Lock your car doors when you sit inside. Keep your bags and phones away from windows, especially open ones. Dont carry more cash than you have to. Diaspora people, if you want to carry your ID with you (which I would always suggest), a print-out is a safer option than an original, should your bag be stolen. When you’re shopping, don’t follow the people who offer you a “better/special deal” into corners and alleys. Double check the things you’ve bought in markets BEFORE you leave the vendor. Accra is hot.
Sidenote, it would be awesome if you carried your bag there with you so the vendor doesnt have to give you plastic. Reduce waste.
18. There is generally no valet parking in Ghana. When you go anywhere, there are people who will help you park well but don’t go giving your keys to anyone. That uber ride home after your car has been driven away will be one of the longest and saddest ones of your life.
19. ACCRA IS HOT - And not just figuratively. First of all, sunscreen! It’s necessary and contrary to popular belief, it’s for black people too. Also, stay hydrated - always have a bottle of water and a face towel/handkerchief. If you can get yourself one of those little handheld fans that would be great.
20. And finally, number 20! YOUR MASK PLEASE!
Double check your pockets and your bags before you leave the house because not only do a lot of places have a strict No-Mask-No-Entry Policy, you should actively want to protect yourself. Dont forget, we’re still in a pandemic. Corona hasn’t disappeared just because we’re over it.
For everything food related, Zubzz.com has you covered. Visit my website or use my IG (@zubaidah.x) to find out what’s good to eat and drink this December. Take a few trips out of town if you can. We all know most of the fun is in Accra, but there are a lot of out of town places that are a solid vibe - Ada, Prampram, Vume, Aburi. Check out the Places tab for ideas.